Think about it, the connection with who we class as our family provides a sense of safety and consistency, friends create a reflection of who we are and on your doorstep when the chips are down or when the good times need celebrating, work colleagues and bosses have our time more than most with the unspoken notion of ‘if your face fits, you’ve got the promotion’ and our significant other is our true love, privileged to understand & keep deepest secrets safe, encourage and support big dreams and have access to and overcome vulnerabilities. What a perfect world!
Most are fortunate enough to tick all the boxes during a period in their life but it is highly likely too that most can put their hand on their heart and say that things change, life interrupts, events occur unexpectedly and before you can even catch up and see through the dust from the explosion, your not who you were anymore, things that were fun now bore the pants off you, people in your life you no longer get where they are coming from or what was important may no longer hold the same value…. basically your whole identity can be in need of an update and face lift!
People are fearful of change because it is unknown territory & this fear can result in many living lives they are unhappy in with behaviors surfacing such as avoidance and sadness with strong denial tools guarding the entrance to the upset.
What is also true is this – what we resist to address will grow stronger and if Pandora’s box is left unopened and dismissed, toxic emotions can spill over and create poor mental health, physical illness and even spiritual disconnection.
Giving compassion and understanding to the fact that it can be a very vulnerable place admitting that we are not happy or that areas of ourselves now need support, but from my experience in my own life and supporting others too who have reached a point where enough is enough, find that ‘going there’ and accepting the change is never as painful as opposed to when the experience or insight to their unhappiness impacted. It begins to be understood that the solution to the problem or static negative feelings can never be overcome with the same thinking as when the problem was created! Fresh eyes and new perspectives are needed and NLP techniques alongside Hypnotherapy are fantastic tools to easily obtain this new mindset and can bring about emotional freedom for you and other significant people around to also grow.
Through remembering that the relationship with ‘self’ is priority and the only relationship that is going to determine the health or all other relationships, life successes, progression and happiness.
Keeping on top of your own personal development and strengthening self awareness begins by making waves in self love and being accountable for supporting the one person you will definitely have around for the long game and who you can rely on for the rest of your life …. You!
If you are not sure how to start making ripples towards your own worth, I have outlined below some great tools to strengthen conscious awareness because even if life is blessed with the best partner on the planet or family and friends who make everything OK in the instance, none of it will create lasting fulfillment or authentic happiness, because true happiness is an inside job!
- begin to follow your gut instinct instead of listening to your head and ego. Ego’s voice will keep you where you exist to a means of significance as opposed to intuition reaching out for an authentic connection to happiness.
- choosing you and saying no to doing things that you feel others expect from you – if it is expected, it is not appreciated and the ‘please disease’ is very destructive to self worth. What we felt comfortable with once doesn’t mean that it is how it is forever.
- speak kindly from the heart – we reap what we sow!
- learn to listen and give opinions if they are asked for – remember, the wise man says nothing and words have the power to scar, even if unintentional.
- make a list of your accomplishments and revel in your successes! A great exercise to see what you really are capable of and an insight into whats next!
- learn something new and tap into your creativity if your work is geared more logical – all round mind balance!
- turn inwards – take time to cut off from the world and spend time listening to your thoughts and your body as both are a very wise and powerful guru!
- stay true to who you are and refresh regular focus on your core values. As life brings new experiences, our values have a habit of secretly re-aligning and these alongside our beliefs make up our uniqueness and authentic happiness. If we run our life in line with others values, we are not living congruently and give away personal power. If you don’t run your own life, someone else will be happy to and I have yet to meet someone truly happy & conforming!
- Have fun and set goals outside the box or better still, get rid of the box!
- Find quotes that inspire and keep you motivated to be you!
“ I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself ” Rita Mae Brown